I'm going through the Statements of Qualifications in the Sample Ballot and Voter Information Pamphlet you probably got in the mail. Let's look at what my opponents write about themselves. I'm not going to type in their statements but pretend that you have the pamphlet in front of you as I rant.

First, there are some things they share regarding qualifications: six out of the eight think that being a businessperson qualifies them to occupy public office. But we all know that, in our country, there are very few professional public servants that run for office and they aren't "businesspersons", they make up the Bureaucracy, the people who do the actual work that government does. The politicians circle with hands out through revolving doors from senator to businessman to CEO to judge to.... It doesn't mean that they're qualified. They are there to raise money for their re-election and, once in office, to protect the 1% from the 99% who, if elected, would kick their ass out of office.

Second, none of them even mention disaster preparedness or the greening of Santa Rosa. Those who do use the environmental boilerplate do so out of deference to those of us who are really concerned. They'll say anything to get elected.

Third, not one of them would be willing to take the oath to tell the truth as I've done ( see my oath Page ).

ERIN CARLSTROM : I've not met Erin yet but I suspect I will real soon after she reads this. Erin, this is not personal. The first part of her statement reads like boiler plate : more jobs...local jobs... help business grow. Nothing very original there, like how she'll actually create jobs. Ah, here's something; She's going to reduce crime by telling kids not to join gangs. I think Erin missed "Boys in the Hood", which enlightened me to the fact that kids don't join gangs. The kids grow up playing with other kids in the neighborhood until they're old enough to realize that there are no jobs and no hope and nobody gives a shit about them - except each other, the only people they're comfortable hanging out with. Then they are labeled gangs by the media and the police when they thought they were just friends. And, being fiercely loyal to each other as friends, they help each other survive by whatever means necessary and compete for territory with other gangs just like businesses do in their market hoods. No vote for you from me, or, as Bob Dylan sings, It ain't me, babe.

MIKE COOK : Gosh, Mikey, how come the city is still rolling out turf and watering lawns? As a landscape architect you should know that lawns, although beautiful to look at and fun to sit and play on, are the biggest waste of resources of any ground cover. My son Jonah, the permaculturist, barfs every time we drive by one. He recommends replacing lawns with Chamomile ground cover. We can play and have tea afterwards. Not only does grass suck lots of water, it requires a lot of gas-powered, labor intensive, budget breaking maintenance.  Let's start with the golf courses, the playgrounds of the 1% rich or their wannabes. Or, even better,  They could become a permaculture paradise islands. Why not rip up every inch of lawn and grow food so we'll have something to eat when the food riots come or the Big One hits. If the 1% need lawns in order to commune with nature ( and do business as usual ), let them take a walk to Bohemian Grove. Let's build more skate parks. Now there's more jobs and little maintenance.

JULIE COMBS: I've got nothing bad to say about Julie. We met briefly at the Share Exchange and I think she's a good, well intentioned truth teller. Looking at her web site, I actually detected a dedicated public servant with some real solutions (not boiler plate) to offer. So, I'm voting for her and I urge you to do the same.

ERNESTO OLIVARES: I don't know Ernesto. His blurb is good and he claims to have created 1,300 jobs out of thin air and has 1,900 on the drawing board. What does that mean? Is he cloning them in the basement of the city jail? Well, I've got four votes to give to this office, he might get one. He may not.

GARY WYSOCKY: Way too general to understand what exactly he's doing besides "balancing the books" and making sure that tax dollars are used "as intended" for gang prevention. I'd love to meet with these Santa Rosa gangs and get their point of view. They are, after all, constituents without representation. I would represent them too. Maybe if someone listened.......oh, well.

HANS DIPPLE: Hans says he wants to protect our local businesses. He wants to make sure they stay open and prosper ( I suspect him and anyone else who uses the word prosper of watching too much Star Trek ). He promises to move our economy forward all by himself. Unless he's had too much wine, we could use a superman to push the economy uphill. I say let's vote for him and see if the economy explodes.

DON TAYLOR: has nothing new to say. He claims running a restaurant for 25 years demonstrates his business ( there it is again ) acumen and leadership experience. This time I think he means it as a signal to the 1% that he's on their side. Don did not mention the environment once and did not translate his statement into Spanish. I think he's tired of smiling and holding the restaurant doors open. Don, nothing personal, I love your omelets and the bisected cars on the walls but, if you're qualified, I'm an alien from outer space.

CAROLINE BANUELOS: Boiler plate with a difference. She appears to be sincere and will get my vote.

Dear Candidates, I hope I haven't offended any of you but I vowed to tell the truth regardless of the consequences during the campaign and, if elected, during my term of office. I invite all of you who are running for a public office to do the same. If you go to my Take the Oath Page, you can take the same pledge and give me your reactions or rebuttal to what I've said about you.

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